A single shoe flies at you through the corner of your eye when you see your grade on your last math test. You got a B! How disgraceful! Your mother is standing in the doorway, fuming. You can see smoke coming out of her ears, and her face is so red it could be in the next tomato pageant beauty queen contest! 

You stare at the paper in your hand. Of course, like any other “Asian” mother, she scolds, “Aiyah, A is for Average”. And anything under an A-? Well, let’s just say you’d be living outside for a day. It is exactly like what Mushu said in Mulan, “Dishonor! Dishonor on your whole family! Dishonor on you! Dishonor on your cow!” But rather than running away to save all of China like Mulan, you get a B on a 5-point homework assignment! 

But not even twenty-four hours later, she’s making dumplings for you in the kitchen from scratch while humming to the song Yi Jian Mei. That one song that went viral on social media for being the song that “every Mandarin parent knows” that goes like “xue hua piao piao bei feng xiao xiao…” And she is acting like nothing has happened! 

And just like those TikTok memes poking fun at the way Asian parents only show affection with actions, Mother then offers you a bowl of fruit. Watermelon, grapes, apples and strawberries are all washed, peeled and cut into perfect-sized pieces inside a white porcelain bowl with a light blue trim. 

Ah yes, you have grown accustomed to this. This is one of your parents’ unspoken ways of saying I’m proud of you, or I love you. Ugh if only she’d openly say that!

In half an hour, you have a piano class. And after that, you have tennis. And after that? Math tutoring! And of course, you have to study! Your parents have filled your schedule so much that you barely have time to complete your homework. And that’s only for Monday! Only a small sample of your week! The next few days have a fresh new plate of extracurriculars!

“You need to be well-rounded,” my parents said, “so you can be prepared for the future. So you can feel accomplished!” 

No. I feel tortured. 

Well yes of course you do need to be well-rounded. But you also do need to have time to study for an infinite amount of hours so you can get an A+ in every. Single. One. Of. Your. Classes. As of your parent’s expectations.

But being this harsh and controlling is the exhibition of love. 

I often feel like a little rat running on those wheels you see in pet stores. The wheel is life, and my parents are the ones spinning it. I’m just along for the ride, but the ride threw me off and spun me around like a washing machine, and I’m being pinned to the side as it spins round and round and round and round. And to make matters worse, my parents hover over me like flies, especially when I do my homework. 

And I’m sure every Asian kid has heard their parents discourage them from crying. Because me too! 

I cried over math homework. Once… or twice… actually a few hundred times. And instead of comforting words, I get a side-eye. A very very dirty side eye. Enough to chill me to the bone and stop my crying by just a little bit. 

My parents love me very much though, as long as it is with a 100% plus extra credit. Just like when I got 98% on that one test PLUS extra credit? Oh man, they did love that. They were so proud.

Proud of the test score, I mean. I got extra study packets as an award. They’re so considerate. Such lovely wonderful people. 

It reminds me of Christmas time, every other kid gets dirt bikes, pretty dollies or AirPods. And under my Christmas tree lies stacks and stacks of… extra homework practice! Hooray! 

Look at them, watching me like vultures stalking an injured raccoon. They’re so proud of giving me extra practice to freshen up my school skills. I love you, too, Mom and Dad!