Commentary: People today are lacking a substantial sense of depth
Conversations are no longer palpable
Deep human connection is wildly depressing to search for in today’s society. It’s not a stretch to say people have become shallow, and it’s excruciating for those remaining to long for a depth that is non-existent.
Mental and physical contact with others can give you an outlet for your feelings, calm your mind, relieve stress, fix your whole life.
As technology eats away at our brains, it addicts us to the numbness of a superficial society. There is only one layer of perfection there, giving us no reason to want to dig any deeper into our emotions or anyone else’s. Expectations, intentions, empathy and motivation have all been altered.
Creativity has been lost. I find hints of it within passionate song lyrics, uncontained laughter, or the reflective eyes of classmates that seem to speak a language entirely of their own. I follow the clues but I can never get to the root.
The problem is – no one talks anymore. What happened to intimate eye contact when chatting, sweet hellos and exchanging words with strangers in public, and speaking out what you think about the world?
It has come to a point where deep conversations now only reside in my imagination. My patience to truly connect with another person has finally worn too thin. I’ve simply stopped trying.
Don’t get me wrong, I think people are extremely precious. I could watch them for hours trying to figure them out, wishing I knew them, what they are thinking and how their life has been. My friends bring so much joy to my life, but I can still feel an absence practically burning a hole through my chest.
It’s those late-night conversations I don’t experience often enough that I’m missing. The ones where you lie on the grass looking up at the stars and talking effortlessly for hours with the person next to you about your fears, experiences, hopes, past, present, future and everything in between. Those are the moments that mean everything to me.
My realization that some individuals just can’t think in the same depth the way others can has changed me for the worse. I’ve developed an exaggerated and relaxed attitude that insures I don’t turn insane from lack of companionship. I just tell myself not to care about anything, that I’ll deal with it later, that it doesn’t matter and it’s fine. I swear I wasn’t always this way, but now it’s just who I am … and I hate it.
The closest thing to a connection I’ve had in a while wasn’t with a physical person, it was with music. That saddens me to admit because it shouldn’t be that way. I blast my music so loud to drown out people around me that I can still hear haunting lyrics bounce around my head when I try to fall asleep at night.
Sleeping is more difficult when you feel disconnected from everyone, which then severs the bond of understanding that you once had with yourself. Some nights, my body physically aches because I feel I will be forever trapped inside it. I could have all the space in the world but still feel claustrophobic in my own skin.
I have desires, secrets, loneliness that needs to be released in order to move on. Maybe it’s selfish to want to unload my feelings onto someone else, but they need to be set free.
Everyone, no matter their thinking level, deserves a chance to pass on their thoughts, experiences, and beliefs. Unfortunately, not everyone thinks so much about deeper levels and recognizes when moments need to be created or savored.
We must find such valuable moments and hold on to them, or else I fear in the future we will all become one dimensional. We need to open our eyes to the fog that surrounds our heads – it’s suffocating us.
So connect with people on those deeper levels because, while there are always risks, there is nothing else like it in the world. We need it.
Steve Gregory • Nov 26, 2020 at 6:11 am
You’ll be ok. Try harder to find people who are in the same frame of mind as you are. Join a book club or a music club. It’s the society we live in that is causing many problems. Walk the road less taken and don’t be afraid. Socrates said: The unexamined life is not worth living.
Mark • Jun 5, 2020 at 7:38 pm
I can definitely relate.People to me,completely suck to be around.Everyones shallow and self centered.
Landon Kinsey • Dec 19, 2019 at 8:15 pm
Hi Sarah,
I very much appreciate that you can openly speak of your frustration. Typing in “lack of depth in society” this article populated, and after reading it, it resonates. We are not meant to remain in a separate state of identification. We are not meant to be isolated. We carry either a wavelength of common bond, or a wavelength of “me” (as if it is a totally unique thing). We express ourselves differently, I have my way as you do yours; however, the expressions come together to form a bond, a connection. This feels so good, and is absolutely needed.
Assuming you are in high school, I find it real cool that you possess the perceptiveness and courage to post this publicly. That’s vulnerability, a key ingredient for connection. Trick is to remain in just how important that is. As I type here, I am reminding myself of it, because as each day passes, it becomes easier and easier to justify in thinking why I should do anything but open myself up. Life has a strange way of bringing that vulnerability back into the spotlight. 😉
Cheers,
Landon
Lola Chile • Aug 24, 2019 at 5:05 am
Soo good and timely!