Ant-Man   Movie Rating: PG-13

By Spencer Cova

  I feel the same way about Marvel as I do quarterback Tom Brady and rapper Drake: I respect their talent and greatness but their omnipresence is invading my personal space. Please retire and allow something new to come in.

  Marvel sits on top of the sci-fi throne, as nearly every single sci-fi blockbuster that comes out is produced by the movie factory Marvel.

  I can bash Marvel all I want because I hate the idea of the company, but will I still be the first in the movie theatre for every grand opening of any superhero movie? I don’t care if I’m deaf, blind or dead, I was going to watch Ant-Man.

  I will probably target the wrath of a legion of fan-boys, but I took CP Physics and I know well enough that the concept that a miniaturized man, were such a thing even possible, could exert the same moment and force as a full sized person would make Newton spin in his grave.

  That’s right Mr. Phillips, I really did listen in your class.

  But it’s science FICTION so I’ll let that one go.

  Even with that, I can summarize the whole movie in a couple lines: Paul Rudd (“Friends”, “Anchorman”) plays ex-con Scott Lang who is recruited by brilliant scientist and would-be superhero Dr. Hank Pym (Michael Douglas) and his gorgeous daughter Hope to steal a jacket. (No, really).

  The owner of said jacket, albeit a high-tech jacket, is businessman and all-round bad-guy Darren Cross (Corey Stoll), with evil intent. (You can tell he’s evil by what he does to a cute little lamb – this is the worst viewing for sheep since “Far from the Madding Crowd”.)

  By miniaturizing Lang and securing the help of an army of ants, the stage is set for a heist of a most unusual kind.

  So… how does this all come together. There is one answer: Paul Rudd.